traceexcalibur:

my favourite insults are the ones where you just take a noun and a swear and mash them together. what’s up pisscouch? how you doin’ fucktrain. hope you’re havin’ a swell day, asslamp

taliabobalia:

my ascent into adulthood

image

meeting Jesus in the afterlife

  • jesus: i have the answer to all of humanities questions
  • me: what does cr1tikal look like

shut-up-im-superman:

"I don’t understand bisexuality, I don’t think it exists"

well I don’t understand physics but you don’t see me floating off into space because gravity no longer applies to me

peperomint:

nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite

baldelfmage:

skyrim belongs to the nerds

charmancler:

i’ve never met nicki minaj but i trust her